It's been a year not posting anything here.
So I'll come with the new story of my life journey as a child, person, Rachel, student, and teacher. The last year in my life had taught me so much life value. I become so scared of losing something since my mom always said that she was sick. I'm scared because something might happen anytime. also at the same time, I feel insecure with my own self. I become a chief mentor for 7 mentors and 14 mentees. Must taking care of them while I do not take really good care for my own mental health. I really feel lonely even before my mom was passed away. feel like I want to have someone to talk to every time I need him. To share ideas, share burdens, share stories, being loved and to love. I also hope that my mom will get healthier than before. Time run so fast. 8 April 2019 was my last birthday with my mom. What a privilege of 21 years being her child. I never thought that I will spend my one month holiday in the hospital taking care of my mom in the hospital. It seems like she waits for me to come home from the dormitory. 3 weeks full of hope that she will be well soon. 17th of June 2019 she was passed away, leave me and my sister from this fallen world.
life becomes more difficult mentally. I lose my support system. I lose my friend to talk to. I lose someone who always asking my condition. I lose someone who always cares to me. I lose someone who always reminds me to pray. Every time I remember that 3 weeks of sorrow, I always cry. I also do not want to start to pray even when I said yes to everyone that gives me strength. It still hard when you don't in that situation. Having no parents at all. The last one that you hope can stand by your side until you graduate. The one that you really want to make her proud of you. IT IS HARD!
I really want my parents are here when I did my thesis defense and when I graduate. The reality is, I have to face it all alone. I know that I have to come to Jesus, but friend, I still struggle with that one. I really want but like you still disappointed because of what happened to you. I did my first thesis only in 5 days, I still alive until now, I know that it all because of Christ who always strengthen me. But become able to come to him seems so hard.
I hope there will be someone like my mom and my dad to really guide me to HIM.
So I'll come with the new story of my life journey as a child, person, Rachel, student, and teacher. The last year in my life had taught me so much life value. I become so scared of losing something since my mom always said that she was sick. I'm scared because something might happen anytime. also at the same time, I feel insecure with my own self. I become a chief mentor for 7 mentors and 14 mentees. Must taking care of them while I do not take really good care for my own mental health. I really feel lonely even before my mom was passed away. feel like I want to have someone to talk to every time I need him. To share ideas, share burdens, share stories, being loved and to love. I also hope that my mom will get healthier than before. Time run so fast. 8 April 2019 was my last birthday with my mom. What a privilege of 21 years being her child. I never thought that I will spend my one month holiday in the hospital taking care of my mom in the hospital. It seems like she waits for me to come home from the dormitory. 3 weeks full of hope that she will be well soon. 17th of June 2019 she was passed away, leave me and my sister from this fallen world.
life becomes more difficult mentally. I lose my support system. I lose my friend to talk to. I lose someone who always asking my condition. I lose someone who always cares to me. I lose someone who always reminds me to pray. Every time I remember that 3 weeks of sorrow, I always cry. I also do not want to start to pray even when I said yes to everyone that gives me strength. It still hard when you don't in that situation. Having no parents at all. The last one that you hope can stand by your side until you graduate. The one that you really want to make her proud of you. IT IS HARD!
I really want my parents are here when I did my thesis defense and when I graduate. The reality is, I have to face it all alone. I know that I have to come to Jesus, but friend, I still struggle with that one. I really want but like you still disappointed because of what happened to you. I did my first thesis only in 5 days, I still alive until now, I know that it all because of Christ who always strengthen me. But become able to come to him seems so hard.
I hope there will be someone like my mom and my dad to really guide me to HIM.
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