J.R.S.T.

There are so many things that I really want to share here. It's been so hard to just stay faithful in the middle of your struggle to question the purpose of your life before God. I've been questioning this for the past 5 months. Start when God took someone precious in my life. 3 months before I lost my mom, I met someone and I believe what she just said has come from the holy spirit. She asked me "How if God took away your mom? are you ready for that? Do you still love Him?" at that time I said, "I don't know". She explained that our God is a jealous God loh. He really doesn't want everything (including family) took His place away in your heart, your whole life. He can take away everything in your life which means He can take your favorite things, your loved one, even your family.  gak terima dong pas dikasih tau gitu? apaan sih nih orang tiba-tiba ngomong kek gitu? gue kan emang sayang banget sama keluarga. Salah gitu? gue sadar akan hal itu, kal...

It's been a year not posting anything here. So I'll come with the new story of my life journey as a child, person, Rachel, student, and teacher. The last year in my life had taught me so much life value. I become so scared of losing something since my mom always said that she was sick. I'm scared because something might happen anytime.  also at the same time, I feel insecure with my own self. I become a chief mentor for 7 mentors and 14 mentees. Must taking care of them while I do not take really good care for my own mental health.  I really feel lonely even before my mom was passed away. feel like I want to have someone to talk to every time I need him. To share ideas, share burdens, share stories, being loved and to love. I also hope that my mom will get healthier than before. Time run so fast. 8 April 2019 was my last birthday with my mom. What a privilege of 21 years being her child. I never thought that I will spend my one month holiday in the hospital taking care o...